Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what to do? ", "My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how does he behave? "-These questions have been heard more and more frequently lately. Of course, the spouse is an alcoholic - it's scary. And drunken alcoholism, if left unchecked, is often capable of turning life into eternal torture. But here you must always remember that alcoholism is an illness, not a particular person's personal choice. A sick person no doubt needs the support of loved ones, especially when they cannot handle the problem on their own. But as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And at these times the question often arises: what to do when the husband goes on a binge? There are a few ways to get out of this situation: leave him and get divorced, or try to fight for your life and help your loved one. Although we can safely say that this fight will not be easy. But the decision here must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only she can decide what she wants and what she can do to reach her goal.
Hard decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to relieve herself of responsibility for a man's future destiny. But in this case you must adhere to a certain behavior. The main thing here: if you decide to leave, leave. Whatever the persuasion or pleading, it's important to know that an alcoholic's promises are unreliable. He will do anything to convince his wife: burst into tears, give presents, fall to his knees. If that doesn't work, he may well resort to violence or blackmail. Therefore, you should not follow his example, because by believing in this once, you can provoke repeated repetition of such concerts. And they can last more than a week and even more than a month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is unequivocal: you need to make a firm decision, communicate it clearly to your husband, not trust promises, and don't give in to pity. We must always remember that no matter how bad the husband is, the wife will be doubly worse.
If the choice is to fight and help the closest person, the woman will have to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband started drinking and then delve into the solution to this problem. Today, there are many ways to wean a person from drinking alcohol.
First, you need to learn to behave correctly. If your spouse has started drinking more often and periodically starts drinking excessively, you can try changing tactics. After all, he is sure that, returning home, he will face another scandal with tears and smashed plates. Or perhaps he is greeted by dead silence and icy contempt? Either way, you need to try to change: to become more affectionate, to surround him with attention and affection, to try to open up to him other joys in life besides drinking alcohol. This behavior often confuses men and is much easier to deal with. At the very least, you will protect yourself and your children from unwarranted harm and save their nerves.
Second, you need to try to protect the faithful from your drinking friends. In fact, most of the time a man drinks vodka for business or for solitude. When they drink excessively, men have very low self-esteem. It seems to them that they are no longer needed by anyone and that they are useless. Try to prove how wrong he is:
- to show that he is the head of the family, their hope and support, and that without his participation everything can collapse;
- focus your attention on children who find it psychologically difficult to live with a parent who drinks;
- to captivate you with new interests and hobbies.
codependency
It may be that a woman cannot leave her alcoholic husband. There could be many reasons for this, but she still needs to figure out how to live.
There is codependency, when a woman, whether she likes it or not, falls into social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to get him out of the hole and back to the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional connection with her significant other. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs by which to judge the presence of codependency:
- the woman takes responsibility for her husband's health, mood, and well-being;
- tries to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- feels the need to help her husband with problems, in general, to solve problems for him;
- justifies the spouse's inappropriate behavior in the presence of other people;
- feels guilty about what happened to her husband;
- close your eyes to the problem, believing that everything that is not done is for the better;
- falls into the same dependence on alcohol, not having the strength to resist;
- considers himself a victim paying for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a spouse.
What to do for a wife when her husband goes on a party
There are many reasons why men go on a long binge. Here are the main ones:
- not wanting to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to handle stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes a feeling of euphoria, thus developing one of the strongest addictions in a person, which he may have no desire to overcome. Weak mentality and strong will can also be one of the reasons for drinking heavily. And if the stressful situation at home or at work is long-lasting, then a person can drink almost every day.
Denial of alcoholism is a problem for all alcoholics. You can constantly hear all sorts of excuses, such as, "Yes, I'm an alcoholic and I like it! " or "I don't drink for no reason. " whenever you want. But, in fact, it all ends with another binge, after which the assurances of himself and everyone around him about his strength of character begin again.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - treat it unambiguously. But it's worth finding out what a wife is definitely not supposed to do. Not worth it:
- make excuses for your alcoholism;
- hiding the problem, decorating it with a needle, trying to show that it is not what it is;
- justifying the husband to colleagues or bosses for not working or being systematically late;
- drink with your spouse so he gets less;
- give drinks at home, as long as you don't drink on the street;
- to wash and clean after him the consequences of his alcoholic intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- blackmail with sexual intercourse;
- threaten divorce;
- treat your husband secretly with him.
There are different ways that can help bring a person out of their compulsion state:
- drug solution;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation program;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcoholism.
light spree
With this early stage of alcohol addiction, you can try to survive on traditional methods of getting rid of the binge. It is also good that the treatment can be done at home. The first thing to do is to let the patient sleep and then keep him at rest. Drinking plenty of fluids is recommended to restore the balance between water and salt in the body. In this case, various fruit juices, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also take a contrast bath, herbal baths, massages and other procedures aimed at improving and restoring the body. There is no point in seeking help from a medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise it may cause unforeseen complications.
drinking heavy
When the binge lasts longer than three days, you will likely need the help of a narcologist. An expert can be called in at home. He will correctly assess the patient's condition and prescribe the medications that need to be taken, carefully following the doctor's instructions.
Most of the time, to alleviate withdrawal symptoms, the doctor at home puts on an intravenous drip, which helps cleanse the blood of alcoholic toxins and ethanol breakdown products. It often also contains restorative and sedative ingredients. The fact is, a person who drinks often becomes aggressive, panics, or experiences unexplained fears.
To calm you down and restore your nervous system after a binge, your doctor may advise classes with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic drugs.
heavy party
Typically, a heavy binge lasts a week or more. If the situation is practically out of control, or if the drinker has a history of chronic diseases, in this case, only hospitalization of the patient in a drug or toxicology clinic can help. Treatment in a hospital will help prevent the possible unpleasant consequences of binge eating, which can manifest itself in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcoholic psychosis. In this state, the patient cannot control himself and can commit aggressive actions directed at any member of the family, being in a state of madness. Of course, it is advisable not to bring this up, but if the withdrawal syndrome is suddenly very difficult, treatment with herbs or prayers is indispensable. You need to get to a drug hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious damage to your health, even death.
conclusions
When the husband is an alcoholic - this is a terrible pain for those close to him. They worry and suffer even more than the patient himself. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a choice: keep your family or your own health. Rarely is a woman able to end a once happy family life, especially if there are children who still love their father. All that's left for her is to pull her loved one out of this terrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do this alone and, in fact, it is not necessary. In this case, you cannot do without help and psychological support. Advice from an experienced expert will tell you how to behave correctly and what to do to get your husband off the spree and back to a normal life. All that remains is to store up a lot of patience and in no case despair, because despair can lead to rash actions, which you may sincerely regret.